I just spent the weekend at a beach house in Baja, Mexico. My roommate rented this place out to celebrate her 30th birthday. It was pretty sweet! For $250 a night you get a house on the beach with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (well one wasn't working), full kitchen, tv, BBQ gas and charcoal grills, huge deck overlooking the water, gated(ish) community, etc... There were about 10 people each night so imagine how cheap the whole thing was! Best part it was ONE HOUR away from my apartment.
I want to plan a family reunion down there. It's almost stupid to not go there more often!
Monday, September 10, 2007
The great pyramid
I recently have been taking career advice from a VP of a local biotech company. Typically she's been very helpful, but last week's coffee was... interesting.
I've heard from others who have had coffee with her that after giving valid career advice she ends up asking them to be part of a potential pyramid scheme! Both people I've heard this from did not see it coming and felt shitty and manipulated afterwards. Last week she asked me if I wanted to get coffee. Interested to understand why a prominent business person was preying on broke graduate students to be part of a shady business scheme I agreed to meet with her.
The first half of our meeting was great. She was very helpful. She then offered me a business "opportunity". She went into a long pitch about how great these vitamins and health supplements she's selling are, how she uses them herself, and how she attributes her recent health to them (even though she recently started eating better and working out). She then introduced me to the business plan. Basically it was a hand out with a picture of a freaking pyramid on it! No joke. Anyway, I (nicely) told her that I didn't have the market to sell these overpriced vitamins too ($35 for a month's supply!). I also told her that I would look further into the company since she still seemed intent in having me join.
So yesterday I sent her an email thanking her for the opportunity, but would have to decline. I also wanted to bring to her attention recent troubling events. Turns out the company she's working for is currently under investigation by the Securities Exchange Commission (SEC) for being a pyramid scheme and for having its science board fudge their credentials! So I sent her some websites to see for her self and said I hoped for her sake that these claims against the company were false.
I don't know if she knew this ahead of time or what. She spoke like she thought she was doing me a favor. So weird....
Today she wrote me back. She gave me a contact name I had requested in the email, but said NOTHING about what I told her about her company! How weird is that?!
I also found out that yet ANOTHER friend was approached by her! So unprofessional!
I've heard from others who have had coffee with her that after giving valid career advice she ends up asking them to be part of a potential pyramid scheme! Both people I've heard this from did not see it coming and felt shitty and manipulated afterwards. Last week she asked me if I wanted to get coffee. Interested to understand why a prominent business person was preying on broke graduate students to be part of a shady business scheme I agreed to meet with her.
The first half of our meeting was great. She was very helpful. She then offered me a business "opportunity". She went into a long pitch about how great these vitamins and health supplements she's selling are, how she uses them herself, and how she attributes her recent health to them (even though she recently started eating better and working out). She then introduced me to the business plan. Basically it was a hand out with a picture of a freaking pyramid on it! No joke. Anyway, I (nicely) told her that I didn't have the market to sell these overpriced vitamins too ($35 for a month's supply!). I also told her that I would look further into the company since she still seemed intent in having me join.
So yesterday I sent her an email thanking her for the opportunity, but would have to decline. I also wanted to bring to her attention recent troubling events. Turns out the company she's working for is currently under investigation by the Securities Exchange Commission (SEC) for being a pyramid scheme and for having its science board fudge their credentials! So I sent her some websites to see for her self and said I hoped for her sake that these claims against the company were false.
I don't know if she knew this ahead of time or what. She spoke like she thought she was doing me a favor. So weird....
Today she wrote me back. She gave me a contact name I had requested in the email, but said NOTHING about what I told her about her company! How weird is that?!
I also found out that yet ANOTHER friend was approached by her! So unprofessional!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The latest and greatest.
I think I have a boyfriend! Things with ecology guy have been going really well. I'm really stoked on him and on us. Curious to see where it goes! I just sent him off for another month long trip to Asia. Bummer! (for me anyway, I'm sure it'll be great for him). In some ways for me it's a good transition from single-dom to couple-dom. When he's gone I take advantage of that time to spend lots of time with friends and catch up on other stuff. So I have a positive outlook on it, but with each trip it's getting harder to see him go...
On another note my November trip to Prague is looking to be crazy! So far 15-17 people are confirmed going! Unbelievable. I figure we'll be splitting off into groups. It's hard to get that many people to agree on everything for a week! Not to mention - what restaurant would be able to accommodate us all! I know it'll be a fun time :)
On another note my November trip to Prague is looking to be crazy! So far 15-17 people are confirmed going! Unbelievable. I figure we'll be splitting off into groups. It's hard to get that many people to agree on everything for a week! Not to mention - what restaurant would be able to accommodate us all! I know it'll be a fun time :)
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Sequoia National Park
Here are a few pics from the recent Sequoia trip. Note - I did not take these pics, they are a mixture of pics from Jen, Mahru, Ravi, Adam, and Katie.
The first day we went to Crystal Cave. There were some cool formations there.
Later that night, Jen provided us all with glow sticks and the creative juices started to flow...
The second day we hiked a 11 mile round trip hike along the Lake Trail. This near the end - Heather Lake. It was incredible.
Group shot at the Watchtower - part of the Lake Trail.
Here we are hiking back from the Lake Trail. Look how high up we are.
Hiking back along the Lake Trail. Notice how we're going downhill. That means the whole way there we were going UPhill!
Along the trail we came across a Yellow Bellied Marmot! He was cool :)
Sunset at the campground the second night. It really looked that red!
Last, but not least we took a group shot by General Sherman Tree. The largest living thing on earth by volume!
All in all it was a fantastic trip!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Granite Rocks
Since my last post things continue to go well with the guy. He's been in a couple social situations with my friends now. They so far all think he's great. My sister was in town this past week and he met her as well. So far so good! Hopefully I pass similar tests with his friends...
My sis was in town recently and it was a lot of fun having her around. We got to go to the zoo, check out some good restaurants, went shopping, went to the beach, went to Shout House with Justin, and last but not least went to Sequoia National Park with a group of friends. I'll have to post pics shortly.
Sequoia was awesome. I was a bit unsure about going there as I felt it wouldn't compare to Yosemite. Well I was wrong. They are definitely comparable. Yosemite has more impressive waterfalls, but Sequoia is much less populated and still has the incredible granite formations and crazy vistas with trees going for miles and miles. Because it's less populated there's more opportunity to see wildlife. We saw quite a few brown bears - including bear cubs! There were quite a few pretty birds and we also saw a yellow bellied marmot. The highlight of the trip had to have been Heather Lake. We took a 11 mile round trip hike into the sierras and came across this beautiful, pristine, magical lake. Even better, there was a bear there! Fortunately he was across the lake so we didn't have to worry about him. After a grueling constant uphill hike the lake was a welcome resting spot. Well worth the effort!!
I'm really glad I've been missing out on work! In my absence, the lab was flooded! A pipe under the sink broke. The office floors were soaked and there were blowers and dehumidifiers making a whole lot of noise. People are working, but it's chaos and highly annoying! Glad I've been gone!
My sis was in town recently and it was a lot of fun having her around. We got to go to the zoo, check out some good restaurants, went shopping, went to the beach, went to Shout House with Justin, and last but not least went to Sequoia National Park with a group of friends. I'll have to post pics shortly.
Sequoia was awesome. I was a bit unsure about going there as I felt it wouldn't compare to Yosemite. Well I was wrong. They are definitely comparable. Yosemite has more impressive waterfalls, but Sequoia is much less populated and still has the incredible granite formations and crazy vistas with trees going for miles and miles. Because it's less populated there's more opportunity to see wildlife. We saw quite a few brown bears - including bear cubs! There were quite a few pretty birds and we also saw a yellow bellied marmot. The highlight of the trip had to have been Heather Lake. We took a 11 mile round trip hike into the sierras and came across this beautiful, pristine, magical lake. Even better, there was a bear there! Fortunately he was across the lake so we didn't have to worry about him. After a grueling constant uphill hike the lake was a welcome resting spot. Well worth the effort!!
I'm really glad I've been missing out on work! In my absence, the lab was flooded! A pipe under the sink broke. The office floors were soaked and there were blowers and dehumidifiers making a whole lot of noise. People are working, but it's chaos and highly annoying! Glad I've been gone!
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Fleeting brilliance
I just had my committee meeting yesterday. Should be my last until it's time to defend my thesis! It's nice to not feel like I completely suck at what I'm doing. I still don't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole once I'm out.
On a separate note. One minute I'm brilliant, then next I'm a dumbass. Things continue to go well with the guy. He met my roommate the other day. Then yesterday he asked if he got the roommate approval. I said yes. I also said "I'm glad because it would suck if my roommate didn't like my boyfriend". FOOT - ENTER - Mouth. In my defense I had been drinking at the time that I said this. I didn't *really* mean it that way either. More like 'boyfriend' is easier to say than 'guy I'm seeing'. And if I did have a bf, it would suck if my roomie didn't like him. Anyway I apologized profusely (which probably made it worse). Luckily, he didn't flinch at it. He brushed it off jokingly that I was trying to put a 'label' on him. So probably not a big deal. I just wanted to kick myself.
On a separate note. One minute I'm brilliant, then next I'm a dumbass. Things continue to go well with the guy. He met my roommate the other day. Then yesterday he asked if he got the roommate approval. I said yes. I also said "I'm glad because it would suck if my roommate didn't like my boyfriend". FOOT - ENTER - Mouth. In my defense I had been drinking at the time that I said this. I didn't *really* mean it that way either. More like 'boyfriend' is easier to say than 'guy I'm seeing'. And if I did have a bf, it would suck if my roomie didn't like him. Anyway I apologized profusely (which probably made it worse). Luckily, he didn't flinch at it. He brushed it off jokingly that I was trying to put a 'label' on him. So probably not a big deal. I just wanted to kick myself.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
It's all good..
I was originally disappointed that I hadn't heard from Ecology guy after he got back into the states. I had thought he had returned, was in town for a day, and headed back out to Mexico. He called me this morning. He arrived to LA late last night and the Mexico trip was canceled and he invited me to spend the day with him and his friends in LA. I had to decline cuz I'm too friggin busy with my committee meeting. But I'm glad/relieved that he ended up calling as soon as he got back.
It made me realize that what was missing was security. I don't know enough about what he feels/thinks about me to be confident that he'll call when he gets back. The confidence however is building. It's hard to deal with unknowns. Especially when I've been burned in a similar way several times in the past. (The past couple years and 3 failed relationships have led me to believe that trips are the kiss of death for an early relationship, then again the trips were always mine).
Anyway I'm glad that he's back and that he called. Looks like we'll try to get together this week if I can get away from working on my important meeting next week. (maybe if i stopped blogging...)
It made me realize that what was missing was security. I don't know enough about what he feels/thinks about me to be confident that he'll call when he gets back. The confidence however is building. It's hard to deal with unknowns. Especially when I've been burned in a similar way several times in the past. (The past couple years and 3 failed relationships have led me to believe that trips are the kiss of death for an early relationship, then again the trips were always mine).
Anyway I'm glad that he's back and that he called. Looks like we'll try to get together this week if I can get away from working on my important meeting next week. (maybe if i stopped blogging...)
Friday, June 29, 2007
Too busy!
Ecology guy has been overseas and I haven't heard from him. I'm guessing he's email deprived in some remote location. Kind of a bummer, but what can you do...
On the other hand, I've been way too busy to emotionally worry about the above thankfully. A good friend is leaving San Diego permanently tonight so there's been several 'good-bye' events in her honor. I've had my extracurricular responsibilities, friends birthdays, cat sitting, and last but not least I've been stressing out over my thesis committee meeting. I found out about a week ago that I'm going to have it on July 6th. This will be the meeting that tells me what I need to do in order to graduate! Yikes. So high stress all around.
In the meantime at one of the going away party my lab mates and I went to the top of the Ivy Hotel to this rooftop bar called Eden. Here's a pic from that night. Don't we look fabulous?!
On the other hand, I've been way too busy to emotionally worry about the above thankfully. A good friend is leaving San Diego permanently tonight so there's been several 'good-bye' events in her honor. I've had my extracurricular responsibilities, friends birthdays, cat sitting, and last but not least I've been stressing out over my thesis committee meeting. I found out about a week ago that I'm going to have it on July 6th. This will be the meeting that tells me what I need to do in order to graduate! Yikes. So high stress all around.
In the meantime at one of the going away party my lab mates and I went to the top of the Ivy Hotel to this rooftop bar called Eden. Here's a pic from that night. Don't we look fabulous?!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Yum!
I just came back from a fabulous dinner. One of my cousins graduated with his MBA today (congrats!!) so afterwards we celebrated by going out to dinner at La Bastide Bistro.
Despite being in a strip mall it had a great atmosphere and tasty food. It's a bit pricey, but the quality is great. One thing I have to rave about was the salad I had:
The goat cheese croutons were actually covered in the lavender honey. They honey sort of hardened over it and there were a few crushed nuts over it. And the croutons were really just slices of bread. The lavender honey covered goat cheese was one of the best things I've ever tasted. It was a perfect complement of sweet and salty and the crouton provided a bit of crunch to the creamy cheese. To die for. I've since checked the internet for how to recreate this at home and have found that the combination is fairly common. Additionally I've found that lavender honey is made by honeybees that feed on lavender! Neat.
The other thing worth noting was my cousin's dessert. He had a raspberry sorbet which I was fortunate enough to taste. Typically I find sorbets boring. This was certainly an exception. Each bite tasted like 1000 raspberries exploding with flavor in your mouth. Not to mention it was nice cold and creamy too.
I haven't come home that satisfied by a meal in a long time. Yum.
Despite being in a strip mall it had a great atmosphere and tasty food. It's a bit pricey, but the quality is great. One thing I have to rave about was the salad I had:
Goat Cheese Croutons, Apple, Lavender Honey, Pine Nuts, Walnut, Truffle Dressing $13
The goat cheese croutons were actually covered in the lavender honey. They honey sort of hardened over it and there were a few crushed nuts over it. And the croutons were really just slices of bread. The lavender honey covered goat cheese was one of the best things I've ever tasted. It was a perfect complement of sweet and salty and the crouton provided a bit of crunch to the creamy cheese. To die for. I've since checked the internet for how to recreate this at home and have found that the combination is fairly common. Additionally I've found that lavender honey is made by honeybees that feed on lavender! Neat.
The other thing worth noting was my cousin's dessert. He had a raspberry sorbet which I was fortunate enough to taste. Typically I find sorbets boring. This was certainly an exception. Each bite tasted like 1000 raspberries exploding with flavor in your mouth. Not to mention it was nice cold and creamy too.
I haven't come home that satisfied by a meal in a long time. Yum.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Going with the flow...
Since my last post things have been going really well between this guy and I. He even met a couple of my friends (who thought he was great). Not sure where things are headed, but so far things are good and I'm having fun. Things will have to progress somewhat slowly because he's once again out of town. This time for about a month - yikes! It's fine because I've got a ton on my plate with work and other activities. I'm a little bummed about it, but I'm mostly excited that he gets to check out somewhere new and then tell me all about it when he gets back. (assuming things are where they left off...)
In other news - I recently got a great career opportunity. I had an informational interview last week with someone who does PR. We got along really well. She understood how tough grad school can be on a person who doesn't want to do research any more. So she offered me an opportunity to work on a project with her company. This will be a great foot in the door for me. Not to mention I'll get some real life experience with PR and make sure it's what I really want to do. From what I can tell this project will involve me helping to plan a party and facilitate a relationship between this company and a non-profit I already volunteer with. I'm excited to see where this goes!
In other news - I recently got a great career opportunity. I had an informational interview last week with someone who does PR. We got along really well. She understood how tough grad school can be on a person who doesn't want to do research any more. So she offered me an opportunity to work on a project with her company. This will be a great foot in the door for me. Not to mention I'll get some real life experience with PR and make sure it's what I really want to do. From what I can tell this project will involve me helping to plan a party and facilitate a relationship between this company and a non-profit I already volunteer with. I'm excited to see where this goes!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Success!
I thought that my blogs about my experiences on eHarmony would be about bad dates, weird-o guys, stupid things guys have said, amusing anecdotes, and possibly even reviews of where we went.
Obviously that has not been the case. Unlike my previous experience on yahoo personals, where I went out on multiple dates with multiple guys, my experience on eHarmony has been different. I've been out with only one guy and all the other options have kind of sucked.
Fortunately the one guy has been great! We went out again last night (3rd date). My positive outlook after our 2nd date has been reconfirmed. Honestly it's refreshing and I'm pretty stoked on it. What's really cool is that I'm not wondering what he's thinking. He's pretty open which helps me feel comfortable enough to be open as well. What was obvious from last nights date was that something is there and it's mutual.
Who knows, things could fizzle out in a few weeks, we could get to know each other better and realize we don't really like each other all that much and that he's not who I thought he was and vice versa. But maybe that won't happen...
Obviously that has not been the case. Unlike my previous experience on yahoo personals, where I went out on multiple dates with multiple guys, my experience on eHarmony has been different. I've been out with only one guy and all the other options have kind of sucked.
Fortunately the one guy has been great! We went out again last night (3rd date). My positive outlook after our 2nd date has been reconfirmed. Honestly it's refreshing and I'm pretty stoked on it. What's really cool is that I'm not wondering what he's thinking. He's pretty open which helps me feel comfortable enough to be open as well. What was obvious from last nights date was that something is there and it's mutual.
Who knows, things could fizzle out in a few weeks, we could get to know each other better and realize we don't really like each other all that much and that he's not who I thought he was and vice versa. But maybe that won't happen...
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
update...
I've become like every other blogger. All gung-ho in the beginning, writing an entry every day only to become sporadic at best. Oh well...
Honestly I've been feeling somewhat negative lately so I don't really feel like imposing my self pity on my readers. School of course is the main culprit (re the previous 2 posts).
Things have been slow with ecology guy. Still haven't seen him since our last date. However, we've made plans to get together this Thursday. Woo hoo! Hopefully things are still good. I'm not really sure what I should be thinking at this point.
One thing I've been excited about lately is the Women in bioScience conference I'm helping to organize with AWIS (the Association for Women in Science). After quite a few months it's finally going to happen this Saturday. I've really enjoyed learning how something like this is put together and working with different people to get it done. It's nice to see your own contributions towards something in place and recognized. I've helped put together the brochure that every attendee will receive and I've helped get the word out about the event. I'm psyched to see the culmination of every one's hard work.
On a lighter note I got my hair cut. I went to this place in Hillcrest called Gila Rut. My roommate recommended it to me. For the price of a standard salon hair cut you also get a quick massage and facial! Pretty sweet if you ask me. Since it was my first time the make up artist did my make up for free as well. It was a good experience! I recommend it...
Honestly I've been feeling somewhat negative lately so I don't really feel like imposing my self pity on my readers. School of course is the main culprit (re the previous 2 posts).
Things have been slow with ecology guy. Still haven't seen him since our last date. However, we've made plans to get together this Thursday. Woo hoo! Hopefully things are still good. I'm not really sure what I should be thinking at this point.
One thing I've been excited about lately is the Women in bioScience conference I'm helping to organize with AWIS (the Association for Women in Science). After quite a few months it's finally going to happen this Saturday. I've really enjoyed learning how something like this is put together and working with different people to get it done. It's nice to see your own contributions towards something in place and recognized. I've helped put together the brochure that every attendee will receive and I've helped get the word out about the event. I'm psyched to see the culmination of every one's hard work.
On a lighter note I got my hair cut. I went to this place in Hillcrest called Gila Rut. My roommate recommended it to me. For the price of a standard salon hair cut you also get a quick massage and facial! Pretty sweet if you ask me. Since it was my first time the make up artist did my make up for free as well. It was a good experience! I recommend it...
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
drama
Sorry. Sometimes a person feels overly dramatic.
The issues still exist, but I'm less upset by them.
Taking the day off and sitting at the beach in 80F weather helps.
The issues still exist, but I'm less upset by them.
Taking the day off and sitting at the beach in 80F weather helps.
Piled Higher and Deeper. It's true what they say.
This post has nothing to do with boys.
It's 9:22AM and I am dreading going back there.
The only thing that really gets me going back are the people.
Fortunately I don't have to worry about tensions with coworkers.
That's the one upside.
Imagine going to a place where you have to fight to keep your head above water.
Where you try and try and try and still fail.
Where the only way out is to keep on trying.
Where the thing you're trying to accomplish isn't even all that exciting or interesting.
Where even IF you were to one day succeed you would never think that it was all worth it.
I feel like the mythological guy who has to keep pushing a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down on him as soon as he gets close.
How important is it really to finish getting this damn Ph.D.? Really the only reasons I stick with it is because I don't have a well formulated Plan B. Once I leave there's no turning back. If I go on without it I'm afraid I'll discover I really needed it. I fear limiting myself. Then again in some ways I'm limiting myself by proceeding with it.
Even if I do finish it, I don't think my thesis will be particularly good. I'm afraid of facing all my friends, colleagues, and committee in my thesis defense and having them all talk behind my back about how I don't really deserve it (they do it to others, I don't feel I'm immune). I know I've worked at it, have had bad luck, and don't want to be a scientist anyway. That doesn't make it all better. I'd lie if I said I didn't care. It's an awful feeling to put years of your life towards something to have it not respected by anyone, not even yourself. To have it feel like it's for nothing (or at least not 6-7 years of ones life worth). I'm so incredibly tired of trying to figure out what I want to do next with or without the Ph.D. I hate being 30 and having such little direction.
And now I have to somehow find the motivation to go back there and do it another day.
It's 9:22AM and I am dreading going back there.
The only thing that really gets me going back are the people.
Fortunately I don't have to worry about tensions with coworkers.
That's the one upside.
Imagine going to a place where you have to fight to keep your head above water.
Where you try and try and try and still fail.
Where the only way out is to keep on trying.
Where the thing you're trying to accomplish isn't even all that exciting or interesting.
Where even IF you were to one day succeed you would never think that it was all worth it.
I feel like the mythological guy who has to keep pushing a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down on him as soon as he gets close.
How important is it really to finish getting this damn Ph.D.? Really the only reasons I stick with it is because I don't have a well formulated Plan B. Once I leave there's no turning back. If I go on without it I'm afraid I'll discover I really needed it. I fear limiting myself. Then again in some ways I'm limiting myself by proceeding with it.
Even if I do finish it, I don't think my thesis will be particularly good. I'm afraid of facing all my friends, colleagues, and committee in my thesis defense and having them all talk behind my back about how I don't really deserve it (they do it to others, I don't feel I'm immune). I know I've worked at it, have had bad luck, and don't want to be a scientist anyway. That doesn't make it all better. I'd lie if I said I didn't care. It's an awful feeling to put years of your life towards something to have it not respected by anyone, not even yourself. To have it feel like it's for nothing (or at least not 6-7 years of ones life worth). I'm so incredibly tired of trying to figure out what I want to do next with or without the Ph.D. I hate being 30 and having such little direction.
And now I have to somehow find the motivation to go back there and do it another day.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
the waiting game & TOOL!!
So I decided to make the next move and email him. I felt like the ball was in my court. We went out Sunday and I emailed him Wednesday afternoon and basically said I had a good time, told him what I was up to this week, and asked if he wanted to get together over the weekend. Now I wait... While I wait I wonder if I should have been more general and say 'get together sometime' instead of 'this weekend'. I wonder if this weekend is too soon... Guess I'll find out!
Last night I went to see TOOL last night at Cox Arena. DAMN they're amazing. Everything was awesome about it - the set list, the visuals, the music, the crowd energy. The concert was originally supposed to be held a couple months ago, but the drummer injured his arm and they rescheduled it for May. Last night he stopped to ice his arm for a little while and then went right back into drumming. Despite the injury he was still incredible.
Honestly I didn't realize how much I liked the new album until I heard it live. I liked it fine, but I felt it was missing something I used to experience listening to previous Tool albums. I think I'm over that now :)
Last night I went to see TOOL last night at Cox Arena. DAMN they're amazing. Everything was awesome about it - the set list, the visuals, the music, the crowd energy. The concert was originally supposed to be held a couple months ago, but the drummer injured his arm and they rescheduled it for May. Last night he stopped to ice his arm for a little while and then went right back into drumming. Despite the injury he was still incredible.
Honestly I didn't realize how much I liked the new album until I heard it live. I liked it fine, but I felt it was missing something I used to experience listening to previous Tool albums. I think I'm over that now :)
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
next move?
After the first date it was easy to know what to do next. His birthday was 2 days later so it was obvious that I should send him a happy birthday message. Then he left for a foreign land for a few weeks so it was obvious that the next move would be his upon his return. Now we've been on date #2 and I'm not sure what to do.
Who contacts who first? How long should we wait to hang out next?
Who contacts who first? How long should we wait to hang out next?
Monday, April 30, 2007
I had a date this past sunday...
So since my last post he canceled on me Saturday night b/c he had to finish up some work stuff, however he did ask to see if I was free on Sunday. So I said that was fine and suggested doing something during the day vs. at night. This was my original intent from the beginning - I figure doing something outdoorsy would lead to more easy conversation and be somewhat different than our first date (which was dinner). He wanted me to call him Saturday so we could solidify plans. I HATE the phone!! I can do the in person thing alright, but on the phone I always feel like a blubbering idiot. ugh.
Anyway Justin told me to "grow a pair" so I called and it was fine. He sounded equally bad on the phone as I did so it probably sounded like 2 geeks trying to communicate.
Sunday we went to Cabrillo to check out the tide pools. I thought I was all smart checking that low tide was at 2:20 and figured we should meet up around 2 to check them out. What I didn't realize that it's better to go a little earlier and watch the tide go out vs. having the tide come back in. Oh well - spring/summer isn't exactly the best time for tide pooling anyway. Fortunately we made the best of it. We saw some sea lions out in the ocean catching fish, and in the tide pools we saw a variety of different organisms (which he was able to name, since he used to work at a children's museum). Conversation flowed fairly easily. We both were a little cautious about the slippery rocks joking about who would be the first to fall on their ass. I saw an interesting puddle. I knelt down to get a closer look. Next thing I knew I was in the f'n puddle. It was excellent comedy...
Afterwards he was hungry so asked if I wanted to go get some food. (For future reference, cabrillo tide pools close at 4:30 and the whole park closes at 5!) So we drove around, ended up in OB and got some food there. It was good, I didn't feel like a total moron every time I opened my mouth to speak. He found out I liked heavy metal and had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He was surprised and had previously thought I was a nice demure girl. HA! I think he was ok with it. Likewise he surprised me. I had assumed he was kind of too goody-goody for me and turns out he also had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He actually does drink at times (likely more than 'several times a year' as he wrote in his profile). We actually both had a couple beers with dinner. Relief!
Anyway all in all I think things went well. I left in a good mood and willing to see him again. We didn't set plans per se, but I would be surprised if there wasn't a date #3 in our future.
Anyway Justin told me to "grow a pair" so I called and it was fine. He sounded equally bad on the phone as I did so it probably sounded like 2 geeks trying to communicate.
Sunday we went to Cabrillo to check out the tide pools. I thought I was all smart checking that low tide was at 2:20 and figured we should meet up around 2 to check them out. What I didn't realize that it's better to go a little earlier and watch the tide go out vs. having the tide come back in. Oh well - spring/summer isn't exactly the best time for tide pooling anyway. Fortunately we made the best of it. We saw some sea lions out in the ocean catching fish, and in the tide pools we saw a variety of different organisms (which he was able to name, since he used to work at a children's museum). Conversation flowed fairly easily. We both were a little cautious about the slippery rocks joking about who would be the first to fall on their ass. I saw an interesting puddle. I knelt down to get a closer look. Next thing I knew I was in the f'n puddle. It was excellent comedy...
Afterwards he was hungry so asked if I wanted to go get some food. (For future reference, cabrillo tide pools close at 4:30 and the whole park closes at 5!) So we drove around, ended up in OB and got some food there. It was good, I didn't feel like a total moron every time I opened my mouth to speak. He found out I liked heavy metal and had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He was surprised and had previously thought I was a nice demure girl. HA! I think he was ok with it. Likewise he surprised me. I had assumed he was kind of too goody-goody for me and turns out he also had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He actually does drink at times (likely more than 'several times a year' as he wrote in his profile). We actually both had a couple beers with dinner. Relief!
Anyway all in all I think things went well. I left in a good mood and willing to see him again. We didn't set plans per se, but I would be surprised if there wasn't a date #3 in our future.
Friday, April 27, 2007
update...
Woah, I just realized it's been 10 days since my last post! Yikes. I'm becoming like everyone else who can't keep up with their blogs.
Mostly I haven't been writing because not too much has been happening. How many times can I write about eHarmony sending me lame matches?
Ecology guy is back from India. I think we have a date on Saturday. Here's how the events have so far unfolded.
-he wrote me back when he got back saying he was back and asked if I wanted to get together this week.
-I responded saying yes and told him when I was free, asking when was good for him
-He wrote me back and said Saturday night.
-I responded saying yes, and suggested going to an improv comedy club followed by a bar.
I wrote him last Wednesday morning I think. It's Friday morning now. Hopefully I hear from him soon so we can finalize plans.
Of course everything sounds ok, but I still get anxious about this kind of stuff. I'm not obsessing over it, but I'm still kind of affected. I wonder about stuff like whether or not the slow email communication means things are going to fizzle out.
eHarmony has finally improved somewhat. After about 3 weeks of one sucky match every 3-4 days I got about 5 matches today! What the hell? I wrote to one of them. The others were okay (except for one with a kid), but I wasn't that moved by what they had to day.
Mostly I haven't been writing because not too much has been happening. How many times can I write about eHarmony sending me lame matches?
Ecology guy is back from India. I think we have a date on Saturday. Here's how the events have so far unfolded.
-he wrote me back when he got back saying he was back and asked if I wanted to get together this week.
-I responded saying yes and told him when I was free, asking when was good for him
-He wrote me back and said Saturday night.
-I responded saying yes, and suggested going to an improv comedy club followed by a bar.
I wrote him last Wednesday morning I think. It's Friday morning now. Hopefully I hear from him soon so we can finalize plans.
Of course everything sounds ok, but I still get anxious about this kind of stuff. I'm not obsessing over it, but I'm still kind of affected. I wonder about stuff like whether or not the slow email communication means things are going to fizzle out.
eHarmony has finally improved somewhat. After about 3 weeks of one sucky match every 3-4 days I got about 5 matches today! What the hell? I wrote to one of them. The others were okay (except for one with a kid), but I wasn't that moved by what they had to day.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
An email from India?!
Get this - I just got an email from ecology guy today. So if you remember he went to India for ~3 weeks and said he'd contact me when he got back. I figured if all was well I'd hear from him within a week of his return. So imagine how surprised I was when I got an email from New Delhi today! The email was totally appropriate. Basically saying he was having a good time, would be heading back in a couple days, asked me how i was, and said he'd tell me all about his trip when he sees me.
Cool right?!
Maybe it's a good thing everyone else on eHarmony is being lame...
Cool right?!
Maybe it's a good thing everyone else on eHarmony is being lame...
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Getting discouraged...
So the "awesome" guy I was talking about in the previous post never wrote. So he's not so awesome after all.
I feel like the majority of the matches I'm being sent are:
- sappy romantics (the kind that make me fear crappy poetry)
- men with children
- really short men - I'm 5'2", so finding a man taller than me should not be that much to ask.
- profiles with no pictures (I mean seriously, low lame is that?)
- older men. Age doesn't *really* matter, but if they're looking like they could be my father.....
I guess I've already gone through all their good options and now I'm left with who ever they pull out of their ass. I guess I have to wait until someone new signs up and gets sent my way. I sort of had a similar problem with yahoo personals when I did it a few years back. In the beginning there were tons of options. I went out with a few guys, it was fun. Then after a while there'd be no one new to choose from. With online dating if you don't find someone awesome in the first month, the odds you'll find someone go down dramatically.
I have my current subscription until June 4th. If things don't improve I doubt I'll bother renewing it...
I feel like the majority of the matches I'm being sent are:
- sappy romantics (the kind that make me fear crappy poetry)
- men with children
- really short men - I'm 5'2", so finding a man taller than me should not be that much to ask.
- profiles with no pictures (I mean seriously, low lame is that?)
- older men. Age doesn't *really* matter, but if they're looking like they could be my father.....
I guess I've already gone through all their good options and now I'm left with who ever they pull out of their ass. I guess I have to wait until someone new signs up and gets sent my way. I sort of had a similar problem with yahoo personals when I did it a few years back. In the beginning there were tons of options. I went out with a few guys, it was fun. Then after a while there'd be no one new to choose from. With online dating if you don't find someone awesome in the first month, the odds you'll find someone go down dramatically.
I have my current subscription until June 4th. If things don't improve I doubt I'll bother renewing it...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
New matches - finally!
eHarmony sent me 3 new matches today. Two looked about 10 years older than they actually were. I closed those out. Judge me if you like. The third was AWESOME. Reasonably attractive, close to my age, and he had the best comments on his page. He doesn't have straight answers to questions (I know I'm a freak for liking this). I like this because I don't have straight answers to any of eHarmony's dumb ass questions. I end up coming up with something, but what I really think is an over analyzed version of whatever I wrote. He just wrote the over-analyzed version - but it's not an annoying over analysis. Wow that must make no sense to anyone normal.
Here's the kicker. He shares the same name as ecology guy and also studies wildlife! Yikes. I hope they don't know each other/work together. This guy put he was an environmental consultant, so I'm thinking they don't work together.
Anyway I wrote to him, hopefully he writes me back.
Today I will spend the day crushing frog eggs. Life is good.
Here's the kicker. He shares the same name as ecology guy and also studies wildlife! Yikes. I hope they don't know each other/work together. This guy put he was an environmental consultant, so I'm thinking they don't work together.
Anyway I wrote to him, hopefully he writes me back.
Today I will spend the day crushing frog eggs. Life is good.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Joshua Tree March 07
As promised, a few pics from my last trip to Joshua Tree.
So Joshua Tree is all desert landscape. It looks really desolate so the fact that anything had ever existed out there seems really strange. A little off the trail for the Wall St. Mill there was the remains of a house. Most of it was just foundation, but there was still this window.
This is one of the larger Joshua Trees.
Along the Barker Dam hike there's this "no swimming" sign. WTF?
But then it all becomes clear - there's a dam in the middle of the desert and still a little bit of water remaining.
This is the view from our campsite at Jumbo Rock. In addition to lots of Joshua Trees, the park is full of big huge boulders. Great places to hang out and watch the sunset.
Desert sunsets are awesome. I was actually up for one of the sunrises, but unfortunately I was too out of it to grab my camera.
Keep on keepin on
The eHarmony options are dwindling fast. So far ecology guy is still the front runner but he's still overseas. The other guy I've mentioned writing takes over a week to write and never makes a move to meet up or even to take our conversations outside of eHarmony so that's kind of boring. This other guy who wanted to 'fast track' our communication past all the eHarmony stages seems like a douche. He cracks jokes about being an ex-ass model - ok fine whatever. Then says he's a redhead and that 'it's true what they say we're better in bed'. Maybe I don't have a sense of humor or something, but sex jokes right off the bat that aren't really all that funny and don't have a 'just kidding' right next to it is not my thing. He can't spell anyway.
I was bored today, finding nothing new or interesting, so I pruned all my matches. Basically I got rid of anyone who was unattractive, didn't have a picture, sounded like a real tool, or never responded to my communication attempts. I went from 57 to 32 people. I decided to initiate communication with about 5-6 people I hadn't before. One so far has written back. The rest I don't think are bad enough to get rid of, but not good enough for me to bother initiating. If they write me I'll decide what to do then.
I honestly thought I'd use this time while ecology guy was out of town to explore some new options. There's nothing to explore!! Boo That!
I was bored today, finding nothing new or interesting, so I pruned all my matches. Basically I got rid of anyone who was unattractive, didn't have a picture, sounded like a real tool, or never responded to my communication attempts. I went from 57 to 32 people. I decided to initiate communication with about 5-6 people I hadn't before. One so far has written back. The rest I don't think are bad enough to get rid of, but not good enough for me to bother initiating. If they write me I'll decide what to do then.
I honestly thought I'd use this time while ecology guy was out of town to explore some new options. There's nothing to explore!! Boo That!
Friday, April 06, 2007
Neurotheology
I just read this article off of CNN. It's about something I've been thinking for a long long time. Humans are hard wired to believe in religion. Disclaimer - I'm an atheist.
The article.
I have said for a long time that humans feel a need to believe in religion. I actually think it's genetic. This article doesn't go so far as to say it's genetic, but definitely agrees that different religions share similar neural patterns in the people who practice them. Anyway the point of the article is that if you take people from different religions and study them praying etc, you'll notice that their brain patterns are the same. They suggest that religion is hard wired into the brain. The article also makes the point that this evidence is in support of both the religious and the atheists. The religious think it means we're meant to communicate with God. The atheists (like myself) believe it means that this proves there is a human need to believe in God whether he/she exists or not.
Not included in the article is my own personal genetic reasoning. I have a lot of atheists in my family so I suspect there is a genetic basis for this. Then again I also sometimes think there is a genetic basis for liking heavy metal since most of my family likes that as well. In fact maybe the genes are linked as the atheist side of the family tends towards the heavy metal persuasion.... hmmm...
Since we're on the topic (and I've been drinking so therefore even more long winded than usual) - even though I personally am not a believer I don't see any reason why a follower of religion cannot be a follower of science. If a religious person accepts that God is the reason we have genetics, have evolution, etc and that it's all part of his plan then where is the problem? Then again there are a ton of religious people who don't agree and think there has to be a difference. This I think is plain old stupid and just angers me.
The article.
I have said for a long time that humans feel a need to believe in religion. I actually think it's genetic. This article doesn't go so far as to say it's genetic, but definitely agrees that different religions share similar neural patterns in the people who practice them. Anyway the point of the article is that if you take people from different religions and study them praying etc, you'll notice that their brain patterns are the same. They suggest that religion is hard wired into the brain. The article also makes the point that this evidence is in support of both the religious and the atheists. The religious think it means we're meant to communicate with God. The atheists (like myself) believe it means that this proves there is a human need to believe in God whether he/she exists or not.
Not included in the article is my own personal genetic reasoning. I have a lot of atheists in my family so I suspect there is a genetic basis for this. Then again I also sometimes think there is a genetic basis for liking heavy metal since most of my family likes that as well. In fact maybe the genes are linked as the atheist side of the family tends towards the heavy metal persuasion.... hmmm...
Since we're on the topic (and I've been drinking so therefore even more long winded than usual) - even though I personally am not a believer I don't see any reason why a follower of religion cannot be a follower of science. If a religious person accepts that God is the reason we have genetics, have evolution, etc and that it's all part of his plan then where is the problem? Then again there are a ton of religious people who don't agree and think there has to be a difference. This I think is plain old stupid and just angers me.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
back from J-tree
Just a quick note...
eHarmony is back to going super slow. Ecology guy is in India, the other guy I'm writing is busy at work so only writes ~once a week, and there's a few people who are requesting communication but seem lame. One guy seems like he devotes his life to being a romantic and that just makes me want to barf. I'm too much of a realist and I hate most poetry. I'm not particularly interested in some of the other people - maybe I should look through them again...
Just came back from a weekend in Joshua Tree. I'll post some pics up when I get around to uploading them on my computer. This weekend maybe. It was fun! I love it out there.
eHarmony is back to going super slow. Ecology guy is in India, the other guy I'm writing is busy at work so only writes ~once a week, and there's a few people who are requesting communication but seem lame. One guy seems like he devotes his life to being a romantic and that just makes me want to barf. I'm too much of a realist and I hate most poetry. I'm not particularly interested in some of the other people - maybe I should look through them again...
Just came back from a weekend in Joshua Tree. I'll post some pics up when I get around to uploading them on my computer. This weekend maybe. It was fun! I love it out there.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Today I was matched with a superhero
eHarmony has been going really slow lately. All the people I've been communicating with haven't made a move in 2-3 days. eHarmony up until a couple of days ago would send me about 4-5 matches a day. Lately I've been getting none.
Until today...
Storm was his name. I only wish I was kidding. Storm is passionate about stopping evil people from doing evil things. The most influential person is his life was the unknown hero or heroine who helps a stranger through a time of crisis and then disappears. The first thing one would notice about him when they met him were that his eyes were hazel and dreamy. Of his list of 5 things he can't live without one was sharing sexual fantasies.
My biggest disappointment was that there were no pictures! After making such a mockery of everything else why didn't he post a silly photo of him in tights and a cape? Maybe then i would have actually wrote!
So yeah... High quality match there. I considered it for a second because I do have a thing for superheros. But since they don't exist in reality I decided to close the match. eHarmony gives options of reasons why you want to close the match to send to the person. I chose the most ridiculous I could find. "The distance between us is too great" (he lives in SD). "The difference in age is too great" (he's 31). Then our difference in values and family background is too great.
eHarmony isn't all that cheap. I was trying to understand why someone would waste their money making a bogus profile. My current theory is that he tried it for real for a while. He hated it and thought women only wanted superheros or something. Gave up and left up a bogus profile for the remainder of his contract.
This weekend - Joshua Tree!! Woot!
Monday - I start my new class. I'm taking a class called Public Relations Tools and Tactics. I hope it's not *too* much work! I've got a lot going on in the next couple of months!
Until today...
Storm was his name. I only wish I was kidding. Storm is passionate about stopping evil people from doing evil things. The most influential person is his life was the unknown hero or heroine who helps a stranger through a time of crisis and then disappears. The first thing one would notice about him when they met him were that his eyes were hazel and dreamy. Of his list of 5 things he can't live without one was sharing sexual fantasies.
My biggest disappointment was that there were no pictures! After making such a mockery of everything else why didn't he post a silly photo of him in tights and a cape? Maybe then i would have actually wrote!
So yeah... High quality match there. I considered it for a second because I do have a thing for superheros. But since they don't exist in reality I decided to close the match. eHarmony gives options of reasons why you want to close the match to send to the person. I chose the most ridiculous I could find. "The distance between us is too great" (he lives in SD). "The difference in age is too great" (he's 31). Then our difference in values and family background is too great.
eHarmony isn't all that cheap. I was trying to understand why someone would waste their money making a bogus profile. My current theory is that he tried it for real for a while. He hated it and thought women only wanted superheros or something. Gave up and left up a bogus profile for the remainder of his contract.
This weekend - Joshua Tree!! Woot!
Monday - I start my new class. I'm taking a class called Public Relations Tools and Tactics. I hope it's not *too* much work! I've got a lot going on in the next couple of months!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
phew!
As much as I try to act nonchalant about guys I was very much relieved when ecology guy responded to my email. (I emailed him first because his b'day was Monday and it just seemed like the right thing to do). We're both too busy to meet up before he leaves on his trip, but he did say he definitely wants to get together when he gets back. So my perception of what he was thinking post-date was accurate. Phew! I'll let it simmer on the back burner until late April when he gets back.
I'm still communicating with others on eHarmony, but it's back go going slow. Some guys I just don't know what to think about. Actually I do, but I'm trying to not be judgemental. Some seem obnoxious in various ways. One comes across as overbearing and asked in his second questions "what was your worst date like?", another is a bartender and has that cheesy 'i'm so sexy' attitude in his face (I don't think he's all that sexy). One guy (maybe I mentioned him before -the one who wasn't cool with any opposite sex friends) asked in his second questions "if your life was a movie which one would it be and who would play you". Come on! Who gives a crap about that kind of stuff? I never answered, and he closed the match.
Overall though, the matches are not all that bad. Much better than my options were at yahoo personals a couple years back.
Joshua Tree this weekend!! Woot!!
I'm still communicating with others on eHarmony, but it's back go going slow. Some guys I just don't know what to think about. Actually I do, but I'm trying to not be judgemental. Some seem obnoxious in various ways. One comes across as overbearing and asked in his second questions "what was your worst date like?", another is a bartender and has that cheesy 'i'm so sexy' attitude in his face (I don't think he's all that sexy). One guy (maybe I mentioned him before -the one who wasn't cool with any opposite sex friends) asked in his second questions "if your life was a movie which one would it be and who would play you". Come on! Who gives a crap about that kind of stuff? I never answered, and he closed the match.
Overall though, the matches are not all that bad. Much better than my options were at yahoo personals a couple years back.
Joshua Tree this weekend!! Woot!!
Monday, March 26, 2007
What to make of a date...
So after a date - all your friends want to know how it went, what you thought, if you kissed. All that good stuff. Everyone has a different reaction to how you talk about the date. Using my most recent experience as an example - I tell my friends that he was nice and I'm not sure what I think just yet, but will go out with him again and take it from there. Some friends will say things like - oh that's great! sounds like it went well; I'm glad you're being open minded and not dismissing him even though you're not sure. Others will say things like - oh, you don't sound that excited; it must have not been all that great; better luck next time. So which is right? My assessment of him 5 minutes in to the date was no different than it was 2 hours later. Does that mean it's unlikely to change after more dates?
Here's what I think, but it's based on very little on my personal experiences.
- You can connect instantly - something about the person (in addition to looks) draws you in
and hopefully they're drawn to you too.
- If it doesn't happen right away it can still happen, but takes much much longer to cultivate.
Like being friends first or something.
Can both options lead to a long lasting relationship?
If the first option happened to me could I even trust it was anything more than lust?
Would/Could I let someone new in enough for the second option to even be possible?
Since I have no clue - my plan is to keep doors open to people who are nice looking (even if there's no initial OMG!! attraction) and reasonably nice and interesting (even if they're not "cool" or edgy).
Here's what I think, but it's based on very little on my personal experiences.
- You can connect instantly - something about the person (in addition to looks) draws you in
and hopefully they're drawn to you too.
- If it doesn't happen right away it can still happen, but takes much much longer to cultivate.
Like being friends first or something.
Can both options lead to a long lasting relationship?
If the first option happened to me could I even trust it was anything more than lust?
Would/Could I let someone new in enough for the second option to even be possible?
Since I have no clue - my plan is to keep doors open to people who are nice looking (even if there's no initial OMG!! attraction) and reasonably nice and interesting (even if they're not "cool" or edgy).
Sunday, March 25, 2007
sleep
I fell asleep at about 7PM last night (or earlier!) and I didn't get out of bed until 7:30 this morning! Guess I was tired?!
I went to the zoo yesterday (maybe the sun knocked me out). The weather was great! I saw a baby gorilla being dragged around by its parents. Then it's dad or someone was play fighting with it. Essentially knocking it down waiting for it to get back up! Sort of looked abusive, but I think it was ok. We also saw an Alaskan Brown Bear pretty active. It was walking around eating grass. Amazing to see it so close up!! I also learned there were pygmie hippos in addition to their big hippos! My sister will flip when she hears there are more hippos! She loves them more than a normal person should love hippos :) Apparently one of the pygmies is pregnant. I don't think the pregnant one was out there though. I did see one shake it's ears though - it's pretty cute when that happens :)
I went to the zoo yesterday (maybe the sun knocked me out). The weather was great! I saw a baby gorilla being dragged around by its parents. Then it's dad or someone was play fighting with it. Essentially knocking it down waiting for it to get back up! Sort of looked abusive, but I think it was ok. We also saw an Alaskan Brown Bear pretty active. It was walking around eating grass. Amazing to see it so close up!! I also learned there were pygmie hippos in addition to their big hippos! My sister will flip when she hears there are more hippos! She loves them more than a normal person should love hippos :) Apparently one of the pygmies is pregnant. I don't think the pregnant one was out there though. I did see one shake it's ears though - it's pretty cute when that happens :)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
the scoop
Ok so like I said, my nerves get totally shot before these things. During these things I'm totally fine. Well - sometimes I have difficulty forming complete sentences and feel like I sound like an idiot. Other than that the actual feeling of anxiety is gone.
So I went out with ecology guy tonight. He's actually pretty nice. I'm not totally sold, but I'd definitely go out with him again to see. He pretty much looks how he did in his pictures. I guess what pictures don't translate are mannerisms etc. I'll have to see in future encounters how I feel. Personality wise from what I can tell he's nice, he has cool interests (photography, his work, football), wants to explore more of the area (he's new to it) - so could be a good hiking or dining partner. So yeah - overall it went well I think. I think he's up for going out again and so am I so we'll see how it goes.
I still think however that I should keep my options open and talk to other people until I/we have made a decision either way. I'll keep emailing the other guy and maybe try to meet up with him and see what sort of vibe I get.
Funny story. After dinner I went home - was bored so IMd my cousin. We went to Shakespeares knowing that a group of friends would meet up with us about an hour later. When the friends show up they were sort of surprised to see me with my cousin knowing that I had been on a date earlier that evening. UNCOMFORTABLE!!! We eventually convinced them that I was no longer on my date and just having a drink with my cousin. I think he was a little disturbed ;)
So I went out with ecology guy tonight. He's actually pretty nice. I'm not totally sold, but I'd definitely go out with him again to see. He pretty much looks how he did in his pictures. I guess what pictures don't translate are mannerisms etc. I'll have to see in future encounters how I feel. Personality wise from what I can tell he's nice, he has cool interests (photography, his work, football), wants to explore more of the area (he's new to it) - so could be a good hiking or dining partner. So yeah - overall it went well I think. I think he's up for going out again and so am I so we'll see how it goes.
I still think however that I should keep my options open and talk to other people until I/we have made a decision either way. I'll keep emailing the other guy and maybe try to meet up with him and see what sort of vibe I get.
Funny story. After dinner I went home - was bored so IMd my cousin. We went to Shakespeares knowing that a group of friends would meet up with us about an hour later. When the friends show up they were sort of surprised to see me with my cousin knowing that I had been on a date earlier that evening. UNCOMFORTABLE!!! We eventually convinced them that I was no longer on my date and just having a drink with my cousin. I think he was a little disturbed ;)
Friday, March 23, 2007
nerves
As much as I know it'll "be ok" etc... my nerves still get a bit shot before a first date. I guess before dates, presentations, exams, and fantasy football drafts I'll get a little anxious, but once I get going I get in a groove and all is well. I guess it only became real until now because now I need to start the ritual all women go through of beautifying themselves before dates. So I'm procrastinating by writing this entry and drinking a glass of wine.
Wii + old people = adorable!
I'm a dork, but this article gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. I guess some people in an old folks home got hold of a Wii and really like it. One woman said she had nostalgia of her days playing tennis in high school. How cute!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Ecology vs. E. coli
My sister thinks ecology looks like it should really read: E. coli .
Apparently this is what she thinks of my date tomorrow:
Apparently this is what she thinks of my date tomorrow:
Nice.
everyone hates val and other adventures
So my cousins now likely hate me. I think my sister does too since I sent her a myspace message asking her why she never hooked up with this hot friend of hers that moved away that I always thought she had gotten along really well with and that she should move to where he lives and marry him. She was less than happy about that and shot back a "why don't you marry him!!". Yikes, yeah I was being kind of a dick. whoops. Don't know why I thought I was being funny. I genuinely wanted to know why nothing ever happened between them, but the 'you should marry him' quip when she has an established bf was not very cool. Sorry Mo :(
So Friday night I'm going out with ecology/turtle guy. I tried to throw the ball back in his court to get him to name a location. We'll see how that turns out. Friday night has been established, somewhere near where I live, but that's the extent of what's been determined. Since he's only lived out here since November it might end up being up to me... Which is ok. I'm just more curious what interests him. I have a feeling that I'll be too 'city' for him, but I'm not going to let that stop me from meeting him. If nothing else I think we could hopefully end up being friends. He sounds really interesting and I'd like to know someone like him - even if he's not "mr. right" for me.
Maybe the other guy I'm writing will be. He's the guy without a 'hook', but I'm thinking there's a chance he might be more on my level. We shall see with time....
One more thing - How do I evaluate each date? Simply on 'how I feel'? Or should I use more criteria?
So Friday night I'm going out with ecology/turtle guy. I tried to throw the ball back in his court to get him to name a location. We'll see how that turns out. Friday night has been established, somewhere near where I live, but that's the extent of what's been determined. Since he's only lived out here since November it might end up being up to me... Which is ok. I'm just more curious what interests him. I have a feeling that I'll be too 'city' for him, but I'm not going to let that stop me from meeting him. If nothing else I think we could hopefully end up being friends. He sounds really interesting and I'd like to know someone like him - even if he's not "mr. right" for me.
Maybe the other guy I'm writing will be. He's the guy without a 'hook', but I'm thinking there's a chance he might be more on my level. We shall see with time....
One more thing - How do I evaluate each date? Simply on 'how I feel'? Or should I use more criteria?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Things cousins do together
Apparently read my blog at the same time. I got IMs essentially simultaneously from both Justin and Johann about my Audrey - 24 post. Maybe they read it to each other. awwwwwww
One day they'll be like these guys:
One day they'll be like these guys:
OMG
I might have a date friday night!!
Yikes!!
Where do we go?
What do I wear?
Crap I haven't done this in a while...
Yikes!!
Where do we go?
What do I wear?
Crap I haven't done this in a while...
24
eHarmony is going slowly. I finally wrote that other guy, but no word back. I emailed ecology guy to see if he'd be willing to meet up this weekend - no word yet (hopefully my email didn't go to his spam box). It's still early... I wrote a new match. He's a scientist. He's okay looking - I guess for a scientist. I have a feeling if he's cool he's the type that would grow on a person. His profile wasn't particularly detailed. Oh and I recently changed my preference to only include "not religious" and "spiritual, but not affiliated with a religious group". And I got a match today that was the latter, but put God as one of the top 3 things he was thankful for.
If you haven't watched this week's 24 - SPOILER ALERT....
My theories (and Laura agrees with me)...
I think Milo framed Nadia.
I think Audrey is still alive.
If you haven't watched this week's 24 - SPOILER ALERT....
My theories (and Laura agrees with me)...
I think Milo framed Nadia.
I think Audrey is still alive.
Monday, March 19, 2007
300
300 was an awesome movie - just don't take it *too* seriously. Persians are up in arms saying that 300s depiction of ancient Persia is wrong and negative. Fine - that's probably true, but who gives a shit. It's a movie.
Some Iranians are saying that it's anti-Iranian propaganda trying to fuel American hatred for Iran. This is stupid on so many levels. 1. The Iranian leader is doing plenty all on his own, 2. The story talks about ANCIENT persia - 480 BC, and 3. most imporantly - I'm willing to bet that the average American watching 300 has NO CLUE that Iranians are Persians!!!!! They probably don't even know that 300 takes place in the middle east. Now after all this propaganda they might find out :)
The Iranian bloggers are giving Americans too much credit.
There are bigger fish to fry in the world - Get Over It!
Some Iranians are saying that it's anti-Iranian propaganda trying to fuel American hatred for Iran. This is stupid on so many levels. 1. The Iranian leader is doing plenty all on his own, 2. The story talks about ANCIENT persia - 480 BC, and 3. most imporantly - I'm willing to bet that the average American watching 300 has NO CLUE that Iranians are Persians!!!!! They probably don't even know that 300 takes place in the middle east. Now after all this propaganda they might find out :)
The Iranian bloggers are giving Americans too much credit.
There are bigger fish to fry in the world - Get Over It!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
St. Paddy's day aftermath
St. Paddy's day was a lot of fun. My roommate and I threw a party which did pretty well. We bought a bunch of beer, made a ton of jello shots, people brought with them lots of beer and liquor and we were all out by the end of the night! I searched all of San Diego for a shamrock cookie cutter so we could make shamrock shaped jello jigglers. I swear I found the very last one in town at Michaels. I got their last one! Success!!
So on Friday ecology guy sent me a message and in it had his real email. He also said that we should meet up before he leaves on his next trip in 2 weeks. I guess he travels a lot for his work. A 'short' trip for him is 2-3 weeks! For some reason I didn't write him back until tonight. I definitely want to meet him, but maybe I just wanted to take a step back since meeting a person is a bigger deal than emailing one. I'm starting to see some of our differences - he's used to the country, thinks San Diego is big (well it is, but it doesn't phase me in the least), drinks 'several times a year'. All that is fine with me actually, it all depends on how he is in person.
There was this other guy who I'm supposed to write in order to initiate open communication. It's been over a week and I haven't done it. Partly because I'm talking to ecology guy. Am I just not that in to him? Nothing jumped out about him that really impressed me, although nothing jumped out at me that seemed wrong either. Like with ecology guy I'm impressed with his job. But maybe it makes him too 'special' and I will find I don't have enough in common with him. Whereas the other guy could be totally awesome and I'm balking cuz there's no 'hook'. Is that lame?
I entered a March Madness pool. Luckily it's just for fun and not for money. I don't care at all about college basketball, but I enter these things just so I have a clue since everyone else on the planet is obsessed. I don't think I can be doing much worse. Already 3 of my final 4 picks have been eliminated - including the ones I had going to the final match up. Miraculously I'm not in last place... yet. At least I'm better at fantasy football!!
So on Friday ecology guy sent me a message and in it had his real email. He also said that we should meet up before he leaves on his next trip in 2 weeks. I guess he travels a lot for his work. A 'short' trip for him is 2-3 weeks! For some reason I didn't write him back until tonight. I definitely want to meet him, but maybe I just wanted to take a step back since meeting a person is a bigger deal than emailing one. I'm starting to see some of our differences - he's used to the country, thinks San Diego is big (well it is, but it doesn't phase me in the least), drinks 'several times a year'. All that is fine with me actually, it all depends on how he is in person.
There was this other guy who I'm supposed to write in order to initiate open communication. It's been over a week and I haven't done it. Partly because I'm talking to ecology guy. Am I just not that in to him? Nothing jumped out about him that really impressed me, although nothing jumped out at me that seemed wrong either. Like with ecology guy I'm impressed with his job. But maybe it makes him too 'special' and I will find I don't have enough in common with him. Whereas the other guy could be totally awesome and I'm balking cuz there's no 'hook'. Is that lame?
I entered a March Madness pool. Luckily it's just for fun and not for money. I don't care at all about college basketball, but I enter these things just so I have a clue since everyone else on the planet is obsessed. I don't think I can be doing much worse. Already 3 of my final 4 picks have been eliminated - including the ones I had going to the final match up. Miraculously I'm not in last place... yet. At least I'm better at fantasy football!!
Friday, March 16, 2007
uh oh
Just looked more closely at ecology guy's profile. Under the category 'how often do you drink' he put - a few times a year. Yikes! A YEAR? crap. Maybe there was nothing in between "several times a week" and "several times a year". He did say that on a Saturday night he likes going out for a good meal and maybe a couple drinks. Wonder if he'd be able to deal with the likes of me - someone who advertises herself as Crapulent Val when sending out a party evite.
BTW Crapulent does NOT mean CRAP. It means drunken - to the point of excess! Or as I like to say - getting shitty, but not actually shitting.
BTW Crapulent does NOT mean CRAP. It means drunken - to the point of excess! Or as I like to say - getting shitty, but not actually shitting.
Open for business!
So it's been about 2 weeks on eHarmony and finally I'm in "open" communication with someone. It's the ecology guy. He just sent me an email with a gazillion questions, so I guess I should get on that. I think I'm comforted that he's also in the sciences, is familiar with academic science, and therefore should have an idea what my world is like. Sometimes I feel like it's difficult to get people outside of grad school to really understand why we put up with some of the bs we put up with. Hell sometimes I'm not sure why I put up with it! So maybe I feel with another scientist I won't have to justify myself? Also I think scientists/grad students tend to have a certain mentality. I'm deathly afraid of not knowing what the hell to talk "career/suit-folk" about. I should learn since I think I'll end up being one at some point!
There's another guy I'll be in open communication with as soon as I write him an email. Not sure why I'm holding back. I think I'll just take the plunge, but how many people do I really want to be emailing at a time? I have a feeling these things will sort of self select.
I entered a March Madness pool. I don't give 2 shits about college basketball, but everyone else on the planet seems to so I figure I might as well have a clue. (Insert South Park joke here, I swear I can't say "clue" without chuckling to myself). I'm not doing so bad ;)
I gotta vent about one stupid thing. For my St. Paddy's (I assumed it was Patty's but an Irish guy recently corrected me) day party I want to give out a door prize for anyone who puts more effort into what they wear other than wearing green. So I went to Vons, CVS, and Ralphs and they all got jack shit. They have every friggin variety of pastel easter candy - bunnies, eggs, etc, but no f'n chocolate shamrocks or leprechauns. I half considered making little baggies of lucky charms or something. Stupid f'n Jesus and Easter and their ironically pagan rituals.
There's another guy I'll be in open communication with as soon as I write him an email. Not sure why I'm holding back. I think I'll just take the plunge, but how many people do I really want to be emailing at a time? I have a feeling these things will sort of self select.
I entered a March Madness pool. I don't give 2 shits about college basketball, but everyone else on the planet seems to so I figure I might as well have a clue. (Insert South Park joke here, I swear I can't say "clue" without chuckling to myself). I'm not doing so bad ;)
I gotta vent about one stupid thing. For my St. Paddy's (I assumed it was Patty's but an Irish guy recently corrected me) day party I want to give out a door prize for anyone who puts more effort into what they wear other than wearing green. So I went to Vons, CVS, and Ralphs and they all got jack shit. They have every friggin variety of pastel easter candy - bunnies, eggs, etc, but no f'n chocolate shamrocks or leprechauns. I half considered making little baggies of lucky charms or something. Stupid f'n Jesus and Easter and their ironically pagan rituals.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
looking up!
Things have improved since my last post! Maybe it's all the changes I made to my profile (thanks Mo!)?
So post-doc ecology guy is writing with me - he seems cool so far. I tried to see if I could figure out what lab he was from and where he worked etc, but came up empty. I guess I didn't try *that* hard.
Another guy contacted me. He seemed pretty cool. I think he's Indian. So far the only problem is that his answer to my question about how he felt about having opposite sex friendships outside the relationship was that it would probably make him uncomfortable. Hmmmmmm... Not sure I can handle irrational jealousy! We'll see how hardcore he is about it. That could be a deal breaker.
So post-doc ecology guy is writing with me - he seems cool so far. I tried to see if I could figure out what lab he was from and where he worked etc, but came up empty. I guess I didn't try *that* hard.
Another guy contacted me. He seemed pretty cool. I think he's Indian. So far the only problem is that his answer to my question about how he felt about having opposite sex friendships outside the relationship was that it would probably make him uncomfortable. Hmmmmmm... Not sure I can handle irrational jealousy! We'll see how hardcore he is about it. That could be a deal breaker.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
bummer
Cool guy from the last post closed the match with me saying "he's got too much going on in his life right now" Sucks!
The other night I was looking at my new matches and one guy I was totally not attracted to. I don't know why people put pictures in their profile where they don't look their best. Maybe this was the best he could do? I dunno. Anyway I showed him to my roommate lamenting about his unattractiveness. Of course today I check my account and of all the other guys on there this one "requests communication" with me! ugh. I should consider it -he has Chargers season tickets! I should put him 'on hold' until football season...
One match today looked pretty cool. He's an ecologist who studies turtles. How awesome is that?
If you haven't seen 300 yet you're missing out. Men and women can enjoy the rippling abs of these warrior men. It's asskicking and really pretty to watch (in a violent sort of way). I loved it so much I went straight to Amazon when I got home and got the Frank Miller book. I also got another comic book, Watchmen, which is supposed to be a classic. I'm stoked!
The other night I was looking at my new matches and one guy I was totally not attracted to. I don't know why people put pictures in their profile where they don't look their best. Maybe this was the best he could do? I dunno. Anyway I showed him to my roommate lamenting about his unattractiveness. Of course today I check my account and of all the other guys on there this one "requests communication" with me! ugh. I should consider it -he has Chargers season tickets! I should put him 'on hold' until football season...
One match today looked pretty cool. He's an ecologist who studies turtles. How awesome is that?
If you haven't seen 300 yet you're missing out. Men and women can enjoy the rippling abs of these warrior men. It's asskicking and really pretty to watch (in a violent sort of way). I loved it so much I went straight to Amazon when I got home and got the Frank Miller book. I also got another comic book, Watchmen, which is supposed to be a classic. I'm stoked!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Profile update...
Finally, my profile is updated - I added new pictures and changed around some of the "about me" section using my sisters suggestions. So below are the pictures I'm using. Suggestions?
This one is a picture of me in Tyr, Lebanon. It may sound familiar to some of you as it was the town that got attacked really hard during the Israeli-Hezbollah war last summer. I didn't mention anything political on my profile, just the location. I'm hoping it makes me look well traveled ;)
Below is my primary picture. It's in La Jolla taken last year sometime. I want to convey that I like going to scenic places. Additionally I want people to get an honest look at my body-type. I'd hate to get screened out after meeting someone in person. I'd much rather it happen semi-anonymously!
This pic was taken this past January in San Francisco (ok technically just outside of SF since you can see the city in the background).
I put this picture in cuz I think I look good in it ;) Is the cleavage too much?? The pics all together say "this girl likes to travel, she's a little over weight, but damn she has a nice rack!" Hmmmm maybe that's not what I want to say?
On another note - I saw one profile I really liked. I liked his sense of humor - in his pics he'd cover the face of other people in the pictures with faces of B-celebrities like Gary Coleman. I thought it was a clever way to maintain the privacy of his friends and family. I'm hoping he writes me back.
This one is a picture of me in Tyr, Lebanon. It may sound familiar to some of you as it was the town that got attacked really hard during the Israeli-Hezbollah war last summer. I didn't mention anything political on my profile, just the location. I'm hoping it makes me look well traveled ;)
Below is my primary picture. It's in La Jolla taken last year sometime. I want to convey that I like going to scenic places. Additionally I want people to get an honest look at my body-type. I'd hate to get screened out after meeting someone in person. I'd much rather it happen semi-anonymously!
This pic was taken this past January in San Francisco (ok technically just outside of SF since you can see the city in the background).
I put this picture in cuz I think I look good in it ;) Is the cleavage too much?? The pics all together say "this girl likes to travel, she's a little over weight, but damn she has a nice rack!" Hmmmm maybe that's not what I want to say?
On another note - I saw one profile I really liked. I liked his sense of humor - in his pics he'd cover the face of other people in the pictures with faces of B-celebrities like Gary Coleman. I thought it was a clever way to maintain the privacy of his friends and family. I'm hoping he writes me back.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Snazzy Profiles!
A few days back my sister looked over my eHarmony profile. She said that me writing "laid back" makes me look like I smoke a lot of pot. I'm not sure after 30 that's still the assumption, but who knows. Then today she sent me a NY Times article about companies that try to improve your online profiles (for a fee of course). The article said that many people are too vague in their profiles using words like "adventurous", "happy", and of course "laid back". It suggested using examples to describe these vague adjectives like "likes to go back packing", "have a great career, family, and friends", and "likes back yard BBQ parties" instead. I recently edited my sister's resume, so I asked her to edit my profile. I'm curious to see what she comes up with!
I updated my pics on myspace recently and ever since then I've been getting way more 'friend requests' and messages. Not that I want to befriend any of these people, but it told me that I should probably use that picture on my eHarmony profile. Wonder if it'll improve things! Being it's the weekend, things picked up a bit - but still slow for my taste.
On a separate note last night I hung out with a few good friends and checked out the Tractor Room. It's a restaurant across from the Hash House on 5th Ave in Hillcrest that's actually owned by the same people. We had heard there'd be good drinks and atmosphere. Turns out it's more of a restaurant than a bar and it's pricey, but the drinks were really good. Not what we were expecting, but not bad. We ended the night at a gay bar I think was called No 1s. It's a dive bar (also in Hillcrest). We were probably the only straight people there. Some guy approached us with a camera and asked if he could take our picture for the Gay and Lesbian Times. The male in our group declined ;) So I won't be providing links to my pic in the G&L Times anytime soon! Ah well...
Holy crap I just checked the outside temp on my computer and it's 87F!!! I should probably go outside!
I updated my pics on myspace recently and ever since then I've been getting way more 'friend requests' and messages. Not that I want to befriend any of these people, but it told me that I should probably use that picture on my eHarmony profile. Wonder if it'll improve things! Being it's the weekend, things picked up a bit - but still slow for my taste.
On a separate note last night I hung out with a few good friends and checked out the Tractor Room. It's a restaurant across from the Hash House on 5th Ave in Hillcrest that's actually owned by the same people. We had heard there'd be good drinks and atmosphere. Turns out it's more of a restaurant than a bar and it's pricey, but the drinks were really good. Not what we were expecting, but not bad. We ended the night at a gay bar I think was called No 1s. It's a dive bar (also in Hillcrest). We were probably the only straight people there. Some guy approached us with a camera and asked if he could take our picture for the Gay and Lesbian Times. The male in our group declined ;) So I won't be providing links to my pic in the G&L Times anytime soon! Ah well...
Holy crap I just checked the outside temp on my computer and it's 87F!!! I should probably go outside!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Family involvement...
Last night I was talking to my aunt (family - guess which one...). She started recommending men for me. First one was her step son. That was kind of weird! Doesn't help he lives in Florida... Then she suggested a son of one of her old friends who works up in Manhattan and lives in Jersey. I live in California. Granted I do return to the east coast about once a year to visit family, but still... I'm not looking for a long distance relationship. Anyway I agreed to let her give him my email. I figure he'll never in a million years email, and if he did why not email him back.
My sister logged into my eHarmony account an gave me her opinion on some of the guys like "He's cute, when he wears a cap", or "I just thought he looked tired, but then I saw his age!!". She recommended a couple I overlooked so I wrote to them. Still no progress!! One guy I was writing looks like he would really want someone who was more into water activities (I almost said water sports, and man that would have sounded bad!) and was spiritual. I told him flat out that's not my thing, so we'll see what he says.
My sister logged into my eHarmony account an gave me her opinion on some of the guys like "He's cute, when he wears a cap", or "I just thought he looked tired, but then I saw his age!!". She recommended a couple I overlooked so I wrote to them. Still no progress!! One guy I was writing looks like he would really want someone who was more into water activities (I almost said water sports, and man that would have sounded bad!) and was spiritual. I told him flat out that's not my thing, so we'll see what he says.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
online dating... week #1
You guessed it I'm single! It yet another effort to "meet Mr. Right" i signed up for eHarmony this past weekend. For those of you who don't know how it works you:
1. Answer a buttload of questions about yourself (I did this drunk... wonder if that'll affect my
matches).
2. eHarmony "introduces" you to a few people.
3. You enter "guided communication" with ones you're interested in. This involves choosing
several questions to ask them, exchanging lists of 10 Must Have's and 10 Can't Stands, etc.
4. If you're still remotely interested you can now enter "open communication". All this
means is that you can start emailing about whatever you want and take it from there.
I've been getting roughly 5 matches a day every day now. On average there's about one that's somewhat interesting. I'm trying to be open minded in terms of looks. Things started off pretty well the first few days of communicating, but they feel somewhat stalled right now. It's kind of lame. Like a match and I will get 'stuck' at a stage of the communication and I dont' get to know why. Maybe they're too lazy to close out the match, or they don't log on daily, who the hell knows...
I'm trying to stay optimistic... See how it goes!
1. Answer a buttload of questions about yourself (I did this drunk... wonder if that'll affect my
matches).
2. eHarmony "introduces" you to a few people.
3. You enter "guided communication" with ones you're interested in. This involves choosing
several questions to ask them, exchanging lists of 10 Must Have's and 10 Can't Stands, etc.
4. If you're still remotely interested you can now enter "open communication". All this
means is that you can start emailing about whatever you want and take it from there.
I've been getting roughly 5 matches a day every day now. On average there's about one that's somewhat interesting. I'm trying to be open minded in terms of looks. Things started off pretty well the first few days of communicating, but they feel somewhat stalled right now. It's kind of lame. Like a match and I will get 'stuck' at a stage of the communication and I dont' get to know why. Maybe they're too lazy to close out the match, or they don't log on daily, who the hell knows...
I'm trying to stay optimistic... See how it goes!
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