Success!

I thought that my blogs about my experiences on eHarmony would be about bad dates, weird-o guys, stupid things guys have said, amusing anecdotes, and possibly even reviews of where we went.

Obviously that has not been the case. Unlike my previous experience on yahoo personals, where I went out on multiple dates with multiple guys, my experience on eHarmony has been different. I've been out with only one guy and all the other options have kind of sucked.

Fortunately the one guy has been great! We went out again last night (3rd date). My positive outlook after our 2nd date has been reconfirmed. Honestly it's refreshing and I'm pretty stoked on it. What's really cool is that I'm not wondering what he's thinking. He's pretty open which helps me feel comfortable enough to be open as well. What was obvious from last nights date was that something is there and it's mutual.

Who knows, things could fizzle out in a few weeks, we could get to know each other better and realize we don't really like each other all that much and that he's not who I thought he was and vice versa. But maybe that won't happen...

finally...

Date tonight! Woot!

update...

I've become like every other blogger. All gung-ho in the beginning, writing an entry every day only to become sporadic at best. Oh well...

Honestly I've been feeling somewhat negative lately so I don't really feel like imposing my self pity on my readers. School of course is the main culprit (re the previous 2 posts).

Things have been slow with ecology guy. Still haven't seen him since our last date. However, we've made plans to get together this Thursday. Woo hoo! Hopefully things are still good. I'm not really sure what I should be thinking at this point.

One thing I've been excited about lately is the Women in bioScience conference I'm helping to organize with AWIS (the Association for Women in Science). After quite a few months it's finally going to happen this Saturday. I've really enjoyed learning how something like this is put together and working with different people to get it done. It's nice to see your own contributions towards something in place and recognized. I've helped put together the brochure that every attendee will receive and I've helped get the word out about the event. I'm psyched to see the culmination of every one's hard work.

On a lighter note I got my hair cut. I went to this place in Hillcrest called Gila Rut. My roommate recommended it to me. For the price of a standard salon hair cut you also get a quick massage and facial! Pretty sweet if you ask me. Since it was my first time the make up artist did my make up for free as well. It was a good experience! I recommend it...

drama

Sorry. Sometimes a person feels overly dramatic.
The issues still exist, but I'm less upset by them.
Taking the day off and sitting at the beach in 80F weather helps.

Piled Higher and Deeper. It's true what they say.

This post has nothing to do with boys.

It's 9:22AM and I am dreading going back there.
The only thing that really gets me going back are the people.
Fortunately I don't have to worry about tensions with coworkers.
That's the one upside.

Imagine going to a place where you have to fight to keep your head above water.
Where you try and try and try and still fail.
Where the only way out is to keep on trying.
Where the thing you're trying to accomplish isn't even all that exciting or interesting.
Where even IF you were to one day succeed you would never think that it was all worth it.
I feel like the mythological guy who has to keep pushing a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down on him as soon as he gets close.

How important is it really to finish getting this damn Ph.D.? Really the only reasons I stick with it is because I don't have a well formulated Plan B. Once I leave there's no turning back. If I go on without it I'm afraid I'll discover I really needed it. I fear limiting myself. Then again in some ways I'm limiting myself by proceeding with it.

Even if I do finish it, I don't think my thesis will be particularly good. I'm afraid of facing all my friends, colleagues, and committee in my thesis defense and having them all talk behind my back about how I don't really deserve it (they do it to others, I don't feel I'm immune). I know I've worked at it, have had bad luck, and don't want to be a scientist anyway. That doesn't make it all better. I'd lie if I said I didn't care. It's an awful feeling to put years of your life towards something to have it not respected by anyone, not even yourself. To have it feel like it's for nothing (or at least not 6-7 years of ones life worth). I'm so incredibly tired of trying to figure out what I want to do next with or without the Ph.D. I hate being 30 and having such little direction.

And now I have to somehow find the motivation to go back there and do it another day.

the waiting game & TOOL!!

So I decided to make the next move and email him. I felt like the ball was in my court. We went out Sunday and I emailed him Wednesday afternoon and basically said I had a good time, told him what I was up to this week, and asked if he wanted to get together over the weekend. Now I wait... While I wait I wonder if I should have been more general and say 'get together sometime' instead of 'this weekend'. I wonder if this weekend is too soon... Guess I'll find out!

Last night I went to see TOOL last night at Cox Arena. DAMN they're amazing. Everything was awesome about it - the set list, the visuals, the music, the crowd energy. The concert was originally supposed to be held a couple months ago, but the drummer injured his arm and they rescheduled it for May. Last night he stopped to ice his arm for a little while and then went right back into drumming. Despite the injury he was still incredible.

Honestly I didn't realize how much I liked the new album until I heard it live. I liked it fine, but I felt it was missing something I used to experience listening to previous Tool albums. I think I'm over that now :)

next move?

After the first date it was easy to know what to do next. His birthday was 2 days later so it was obvious that I should send him a happy birthday message. Then he left for a foreign land for a few weeks so it was obvious that the next move would be his upon his return. Now we've been on date #2 and I'm not sure what to do.

Who contacts who first? How long should we wait to hang out next?