I had a date this past sunday...

So since my last post he canceled on me Saturday night b/c he had to finish up some work stuff, however he did ask to see if I was free on Sunday. So I said that was fine and suggested doing something during the day vs. at night. This was my original intent from the beginning - I figure doing something outdoorsy would lead to more easy conversation and be somewhat different than our first date (which was dinner). He wanted me to call him Saturday so we could solidify plans. I HATE the phone!! I can do the in person thing alright, but on the phone I always feel like a blubbering idiot. ugh.

Anyway Justin told me to "grow a pair" so I called and it was fine. He sounded equally bad on the phone as I did so it probably sounded like 2 geeks trying to communicate.

Sunday we went to Cabrillo to check out the tide pools. I thought I was all smart checking that low tide was at 2:20 and figured we should meet up around 2 to check them out. What I didn't realize that it's better to go a little earlier and watch the tide go out vs. having the tide come back in. Oh well - spring/summer isn't exactly the best time for tide pooling anyway. Fortunately we made the best of it. We saw some sea lions out in the ocean catching fish, and in the tide pools we saw a variety of different organisms (which he was able to name, since he used to work at a children's museum). Conversation flowed fairly easily. We both were a little cautious about the slippery rocks joking about who would be the first to fall on their ass. I saw an interesting puddle. I knelt down to get a closer look. Next thing I knew I was in the f'n puddle. It was excellent comedy...

Afterwards he was hungry so asked if I wanted to go get some food. (For future reference, cabrillo tide pools close at 4:30 and the whole park closes at 5!) So we drove around, ended up in OB and got some food there. It was good, I didn't feel like a total moron every time I opened my mouth to speak. He found out I liked heavy metal and had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He was surprised and had previously thought I was a nice demure girl. HA! I think he was ok with it. Likewise he surprised me. I had assumed he was kind of too goody-goody for me and turns out he also had a somewhat adventurous time in college. He actually does drink at times (likely more than 'several times a year' as he wrote in his profile). We actually both had a couple beers with dinner. Relief!

Anyway all in all I think things went well. I left in a good mood and willing to see him again. We didn't set plans per se, but I would be surprised if there wasn't a date #3 in our future.

update...

Woah, I just realized it's been 10 days since my last post! Yikes. I'm becoming like everyone else who can't keep up with their blogs.

Mostly I haven't been writing because not too much has been happening. How many times can I write about eHarmony sending me lame matches?

Ecology guy is back from India. I think we have a date on Saturday. Here's how the events have so far unfolded.
-he wrote me back when he got back saying he was back and asked if I wanted to get together this week.
-I responded saying yes and told him when I was free, asking when was good for him
-He wrote me back and said Saturday night.
-I responded saying yes, and suggested going to an improv comedy club followed by a bar.

I wrote him last Wednesday morning I think. It's Friday morning now. Hopefully I hear from him soon so we can finalize plans.

Of course everything sounds ok, but I still get anxious about this kind of stuff. I'm not obsessing over it, but I'm still kind of affected. I wonder about stuff like whether or not the slow email communication means things are going to fizzle out.

eHarmony has finally improved somewhat. After about 3 weeks of one sucky match every 3-4 days I got about 5 matches today! What the hell? I wrote to one of them. The others were okay (except for one with a kid), but I wasn't that moved by what they had to day.

An email from India?!

Get this - I just got an email from ecology guy today. So if you remember he went to India for ~3 weeks and said he'd contact me when he got back. I figured if all was well I'd hear from him within a week of his return. So imagine how surprised I was when I got an email from New Delhi today! The email was totally appropriate. Basically saying he was having a good time, would be heading back in a couple days, asked me how i was, and said he'd tell me all about his trip when he sees me.

Cool right?!

Maybe it's a good thing everyone else on eHarmony is being lame...

Getting discouraged...

So the "awesome" guy I was talking about in the previous post never wrote. So he's not so awesome after all.

I feel like the majority of the matches I'm being sent are:
- sappy romantics (the kind that make me fear crappy poetry)
- men with children
- really short men - I'm 5'2", so finding a man taller than me should not be that much to ask.
- profiles with no pictures (I mean seriously, low lame is that?)
- older men. Age doesn't *really* matter, but if they're looking like they could be my father.....

I guess I've already gone through all their good options and now I'm left with who ever they pull out of their ass. I guess I have to wait until someone new signs up and gets sent my way. I sort of had a similar problem with yahoo personals when I did it a few years back. In the beginning there were tons of options. I went out with a few guys, it was fun. Then after a while there'd be no one new to choose from. With online dating if you don't find someone awesome in the first month, the odds you'll find someone go down dramatically.

I have my current subscription until June 4th. If things don't improve I doubt I'll bother renewing it...

New matches - finally!

eHarmony sent me 3 new matches today. Two looked about 10 years older than they actually were. I closed those out. Judge me if you like. The third was AWESOME. Reasonably attractive, close to my age, and he had the best comments on his page. He doesn't have straight answers to questions (I know I'm a freak for liking this). I like this because I don't have straight answers to any of eHarmony's dumb ass questions. I end up coming up with something, but what I really think is an over analyzed version of whatever I wrote. He just wrote the over-analyzed version - but it's not an annoying over analysis. Wow that must make no sense to anyone normal.

Here's the kicker. He shares the same name as ecology guy and also studies wildlife! Yikes. I hope they don't know each other/work together. This guy put he was an environmental consultant, so I'm thinking they don't work together.

Anyway I wrote to him, hopefully he writes me back.

Today I will spend the day crushing frog eggs. Life is good.

Joshua Tree March 07

As promised, a few pics from my last trip to Joshua Tree.

So Joshua Tree is all desert landscape. It looks really desolate so the fact that anything had ever existed out there seems really strange. A little off the trail for the Wall St. Mill there was the remains of a house. Most of it was just foundation, but there was still this window.



This is one of the larger Joshua Trees.



Along the Barker Dam hike there's this "no swimming" sign. WTF?



But then it all becomes clear - there's a dam in the middle of the desert and still a little bit of water remaining.

This is the view from our campsite at Jumbo Rock. In addition to lots of Joshua Trees, the park is full of big huge boulders. Great places to hang out and watch the sunset.

Desert sunsets are awesome.
I was actually up for one of the sunrises, but unfortunately I was too out of it to grab my camera.

Keep on keepin on

The eHarmony options are dwindling fast. So far ecology guy is still the front runner but he's still overseas. The other guy I've mentioned writing takes over a week to write and never makes a move to meet up or even to take our conversations outside of eHarmony so that's kind of boring. This other guy who wanted to 'fast track' our communication past all the eHarmony stages seems like a douche. He cracks jokes about being an ex-ass model - ok fine whatever. Then says he's a redhead and that 'it's true what they say we're better in bed'. Maybe I don't have a sense of humor or something, but sex jokes right off the bat that aren't really all that funny and don't have a 'just kidding' right next to it is not my thing. He can't spell anyway.

I was bored today, finding nothing new or interesting, so I pruned all my matches. Basically I got rid of anyone who was unattractive, didn't have a picture, sounded like a real tool, or never responded to my communication attempts. I went from 57 to 32 people. I decided to initiate communication with about 5-6 people I hadn't before. One so far has written back. The rest I don't think are bad enough to get rid of, but not good enough for me to bother initiating. If they write me I'll decide what to do then.

I honestly thought I'd use this time while ecology guy was out of town to explore some new options. There's nothing to explore!! Boo That!

Neurotheology

I just read this article off of CNN. It's about something I've been thinking for a long long time. Humans are hard wired to believe in religion. Disclaimer - I'm an atheist.

The article.

I have said for a long time that humans feel a need to believe in religion. I actually think it's genetic. This article doesn't go so far as to say it's genetic, but definitely agrees that different religions share similar neural patterns in the people who practice them. Anyway the point of the article is that if you take people from different religions and study them praying etc, you'll notice that their brain patterns are the same. They suggest that religion is hard wired into the brain. The article also makes the point that this evidence is in support of both the religious and the atheists. The religious think it means we're meant to communicate with God. The atheists (like myself) believe it means that this proves there is a human need to believe in God whether he/she exists or not.

Not included in the article is my own personal genetic reasoning. I have a lot of atheists in my family so I suspect there is a genetic basis for this. Then again I also sometimes think there is a genetic basis for liking heavy metal since most of my family likes that as well. In fact maybe the genes are linked as the atheist side of the family tends towards the heavy metal persuasion.... hmmm...

Since we're on the topic (and I've been drinking so therefore even more long winded than usual) - even though I personally am not a believer I don't see any reason why a follower of religion cannot be a follower of science. If a religious person accepts that God is the reason we have genetics, have evolution, etc and that it's all part of his plan then where is the problem? Then again there are a ton of religious people who don't agree and think there has to be a difference. This I think is plain old stupid and just angers me.

back from J-tree

Just a quick note...

eHarmony is back to going super slow. Ecology guy is in India, the other guy I'm writing is busy at work so only writes ~once a week, and there's a few people who are requesting communication but seem lame. One guy seems like he devotes his life to being a romantic and that just makes me want to barf. I'm too much of a realist and I hate most poetry. I'm not particularly interested in some of the other people - maybe I should look through them again...

Just came back from a weekend in Joshua Tree. I'll post some pics up when I get around to uploading them on my computer. This weekend maybe. It was fun! I love it out there.

Today I was matched with a superhero

eHarmony has been going really slow lately. All the people I've been communicating with haven't made a move in 2-3 days. eHarmony up until a couple of days ago would send me about 4-5 matches a day. Lately I've been getting none.

Until today...

Storm was his name. I only wish I was kidding. Storm is passionate about stopping evil people from doing evil things. The most influential person is his life was the unknown hero or heroine who helps a stranger through a time of crisis and then disappears. The first thing one would notice about him when they met him were that his eyes were hazel and dreamy. Of his list of 5 things he can't live without one was sharing sexual fantasies.

My biggest disappointment was that there were no pictures! After making such a mockery of everything else why didn't he post a silly photo of him in tights and a cape? Maybe then i would have actually wrote!

So yeah... High quality match there. I considered it for a second because I do have a thing for superheros. But since they don't exist in reality I decided to close the match. eHarmony gives options of reasons why you want to close the match to send to the person. I chose the most ridiculous I could find. "The distance between us is too great" (he lives in SD). "The difference in age is too great" (he's 31). Then our difference in values and family background is too great.

eHarmony isn't all that cheap. I was trying to understand why someone would waste their money making a bogus profile. My current theory is that he tried it for real for a while. He hated it and thought women only wanted superheros or something. Gave up and left up a bogus profile for the remainder of his contract.

This weekend - Joshua Tree!! Woot!
Monday - I start my new class. I'm taking a class called Public Relations Tools and Tactics. I hope it's not *too* much work! I've got a lot going on in the next couple of months!

phew!

As much as I try to act nonchalant about guys I was very much relieved when ecology guy responded to my email. (I emailed him first because his b'day was Monday and it just seemed like the right thing to do). We're both too busy to meet up before he leaves on his trip, but he did say he definitely wants to get together when he gets back. So my perception of what he was thinking post-date was accurate. Phew! I'll let it simmer on the back burner until late April when he gets back.

I'm still communicating with others on eHarmony, but it's back go going slow. Some guys I just don't know what to think about. Actually I do, but I'm trying to not be judgemental. Some seem obnoxious in various ways. One comes across as overbearing and asked in his second questions "what was your worst date like?", another is a bartender and has that cheesy 'i'm so sexy' attitude in his face (I don't think he's all that sexy). One guy (maybe I mentioned him before -the one who wasn't cool with any opposite sex friends) asked in his second questions "if your life was a movie which one would it be and who would play you". Come on! Who gives a crap about that kind of stuff? I never answered, and he closed the match.

Overall though, the matches are not all that bad. Much better than my options were at yahoo personals a couple years back.

Joshua Tree this weekend!! Woot!!

What to make of a date...

So after a date - all your friends want to know how it went, what you thought, if you kissed. All that good stuff. Everyone has a different reaction to how you talk about the date. Using my most recent experience as an example - I tell my friends that he was nice and I'm not sure what I think just yet, but will go out with him again and take it from there. Some friends will say things like - oh that's great! sounds like it went well; I'm glad you're being open minded and not dismissing him even though you're not sure. Others will say things like - oh, you don't sound that excited; it must have not been all that great; better luck next time. So which is right? My assessment of him 5 minutes in to the date was no different than it was 2 hours later. Does that mean it's unlikely to change after more dates?

Here's what I think, but it's based on very little on my personal experiences.
- You can connect instantly - something about the person (in addition to looks) draws you in
and hopefully they're drawn to you too.
- If it doesn't happen right away it can still happen, but takes much much longer to cultivate.
Like being friends first or something.

Can both options lead to a long lasting relationship?
If the first option happened to me could I even trust it was anything more than lust?
Would/Could I let someone new in enough for the second option to even be possible?

Since I have no clue - my plan is to keep doors open to people who are nice looking (even if there's no initial OMG!! attraction) and reasonably nice and interesting (even if they're not "cool" or edgy).

sleep

I fell asleep at about 7PM last night (or earlier!) and I didn't get out of bed until 7:30 this morning! Guess I was tired?!

I went to the zoo yesterday (maybe the sun knocked me out). The weather was great! I saw a baby gorilla being dragged around by its parents. Then it's dad or someone was play fighting with it. Essentially knocking it down waiting for it to get back up! Sort of looked abusive, but I think it was ok. We also saw an Alaskan Brown Bear pretty active. It was walking around eating grass. Amazing to see it so close up!! I also learned there were pygmie hippos in addition to their big hippos! My sister will flip when she hears there are more hippos! She loves them more than a normal person should love hippos :) Apparently one of the pygmies is pregnant. I don't think the pregnant one was out there though. I did see one shake it's ears though - it's pretty cute when that happens :)

the scoop

Ok so like I said, my nerves get totally shot before these things. During these things I'm totally fine. Well - sometimes I have difficulty forming complete sentences and feel like I sound like an idiot. Other than that the actual feeling of anxiety is gone.

So I went out with ecology guy tonight. He's actually pretty nice. I'm not totally sold, but I'd definitely go out with him again to see. He pretty much looks how he did in his pictures. I guess what pictures don't translate are mannerisms etc. I'll have to see in future encounters how I feel. Personality wise from what I can tell he's nice, he has cool interests (photography, his work, football), wants to explore more of the area (he's new to it) - so could be a good hiking or dining partner. So yeah - overall it went well I think. I think he's up for going out again and so am I so we'll see how it goes.

I still think however that I should keep my options open and talk to other people until I/we have made a decision either way. I'll keep emailing the other guy and maybe try to meet up with him and see what sort of vibe I get.

Funny story. After dinner I went home - was bored so IMd my cousin. We went to Shakespeares knowing that a group of friends would meet up with us about an hour later. When the friends show up they were sort of surprised to see me with my cousin knowing that I had been on a date earlier that evening. UNCOMFORTABLE!!! We eventually convinced them that I was no longer on my date and just having a drink with my cousin. I think he was a little disturbed ;)

nerves

As much as I know it'll "be ok" etc... my nerves still get a bit shot before a first date. I guess before dates, presentations, exams, and fantasy football drafts I'll get a little anxious, but once I get going I get in a groove and all is well. I guess it only became real until now because now I need to start the ritual all women go through of beautifying themselves before dates. So I'm procrastinating by writing this entry and drinking a glass of wine.

Wii + old people = adorable!

I'm a dork, but this article gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. I guess some people in an old folks home got hold of a Wii and really like it. One woman said she had nostalgia of her days playing tennis in high school. How cute!!

CNN: "Retirees find Wii not just for the grandkids"

Ecology vs. E. coli

My sister thinks ecology looks like it should really read: E. coli .

Apparently this is what she thinks of my date tomorrow:

Nice.

everyone hates val and other adventures

So my cousins now likely hate me. I think my sister does too since I sent her a myspace message asking her why she never hooked up with this hot friend of hers that moved away that I always thought she had gotten along really well with and that she should move to where he lives and marry him. She was less than happy about that and shot back a "why don't you marry him!!". Yikes, yeah I was being kind of a dick. whoops. Don't know why I thought I was being funny. I genuinely wanted to know why nothing ever happened between them, but the 'you should marry him' quip when she has an established bf was not very cool. Sorry Mo :(

So Friday night I'm going out with ecology/turtle guy. I tried to throw the ball back in his court to get him to name a location. We'll see how that turns out. Friday night has been established, somewhere near where I live, but that's the extent of what's been determined. Since he's only lived out here since November it might end up being up to me... Which is ok. I'm just more curious what interests him. I have a feeling that I'll be too 'city' for him, but I'm not going to let that stop me from meeting him. If nothing else I think we could hopefully end up being friends. He sounds really interesting and I'd like to know someone like him - even if he's not "mr. right" for me.

Maybe the other guy I'm writing will be. He's the guy without a 'hook', but I'm thinking there's a chance he might be more on my level. We shall see with time....

One more thing - How do I evaluate each date? Simply on 'how I feel'? Or should I use more criteria?

Things cousins do together

Apparently read my blog at the same time. I got IMs essentially simultaneously from both Justin and Johann about my Audrey - 24 post. Maybe they read it to each other. awwwwwww
One day they'll be like these guys:

OMG

I might have a date friday night!!
Yikes!!
Where do we go?
What do I wear?
Crap I haven't done this in a while...